Did it in a minute

Say it isn't so. I can't go for that (no can do). You make my dreams. Did it in a minute. Private Eyes. Maneater. One on one. Out of touch. Rich Girl. Adult Education. She's Gone. Sara smile. You've lost that lovin' feelin'. Method of modern love. Family Man. Some things are better left unsaid.

How has there not been a Broadway Musical yet with Hall & Oates songs? There are so many good titles and amazing lyrics...

such as: "The woman is wild, A she-cat tamed By the purr of a Jaguar."

And don't forget: "In the lot the boy that's idling by doesn't rev your heart. Cause it's only lonely spots he shares with you. And the long halls and the gray walls are gonna split apart. Believe it or not there's life after high school."

We all know: "Why you try to put up a front for me, I'm a spy but on your side you see, Slip on, into any disguise I'll still know you look into my Private Eyes."

And we should wake up to: "What I want, you've got But it might be hard to handle Like the flame that burns the candle The candle feeds the flame yeah yeah What I got -- full stock of thoughts and dreams that scatter And you pull them all together And how I can't explain oh yeah Well well you (ooh ooh ooh ooh) you make my dreams come true (you you) you(you you)Well well well you (ooh ooh ooh ooh) oh yeah you make my dreams come true(ooh oooh ooh ooh) hell yeah."

And fall asleep to: "If you feel like leaving you know you can go But why don't you stay until tomorrow? If you want to be free, you know, all you got to do is say so And when you feel cold, I'll warm you And when you feel you can't go on, I'll come and hold you It's you... And me forever Sara Smile Won't you smile a while for me."

Looking forward to Independence Day.

Holes to Heaven

It's easy to take the downstream route. It seems normal and expected. It can be draining but eventually it will pour out into the ocean of possibilities, and the ship will sail elsewhere. I'm paddling upstream, with struggles along the way, but ultimately there is something to discover. Something that perhaps I have yet to explore. A craving, a desire to create my life. The possibility of sending me on a detour. And the patience of taking that route. I may not get to the Pacific in 20 minutes, but it's worth the Sunset scenic sights. "Sunset scenic sights"??? SSS- ah geez. Space is time, time we may not get back. So fill it with something. A scenic route, perhaps? I take a Jack Johnson CD or two...great for the ride.

sushi for one

This evening, I decided to go for a walk. I walked down to Melrose and took photos of random street art and whatnot. As I was crossing the street at a crosswalk with a little white light man telling me to cross, I get hit by a car. Okay, okay getting hit is an overstatement. The old man was turning left as I was crossing and he slammed on his breaks as a flung half my body onto his hood. I had my camera and my iPod. I just looked at him. He looked confused and not aware that he did anything wrong. I was fine. My electronics were fine. I walked away. I went to eat some sushi. But my heart was racing, that's for sure. Not really a near death experience...maybe a near broken arm or leg experience, but nonetheless kind of scary. My life can change just like that. Appreciate it. My $2 Asahi beers during sushi were appreciated.

perks of being a palm tree

the perks of being a wallflower. watching and listening. seeing and understanding. i like to sit back and let the life happen in front of me. i don't have to always be a part of it, directly. i like being quiet and soaking in knowledge and learning of human interaction. lots of consistency. i see a lot of the same thing from the same people. very little spontaneity. sometimes i feel i already know what is about to be said or done. there's a sense of comfort we have with knowing. personally i like not knowing. i don't want to know what's going to happen next. i want life to surprise me. i live spontaneously and i don't have a schedule, besides work and softball, and even that is uneven. i feel i have lived when life just happens. there is only so much planning you can do, and most things that have made me happy in my life and that have made me feel good, have not been planned. if someone is out there planning my life, please take the schedule book and write out the itinerary. i want nothing to do with it.

silhouette of life

1983 (LA) born. 1986 (LA) little brother. 1989 (FL) soap in mouth. 1991 (LA) girl with broken arm. 1993 (LA) silk shirts to school dance. 1997 (LA) three in class will be gay. 1998 (WY) first boob in hand during Urban Legends. 2000 (NE) She put her number on a gum wrapper. 2002 (NE) Mom, I just want to tell you I'm gay. 2005 (UT) Lu and I hike Kolob Canyons in Zion National Park. 2010 (OH) Second time at the softball world series with friends who are family. 2011 (OPEN SEAS) A cruise around the Caribbean and complete relaxation, goldie ticking on my wrist. 2011 (CA) to be continued, as my heart beats and my fingers click, curiously I live.

What is this valve for?

Today was a day he needed to sit on the roof. Sometimes he needs to be in complete solitude. It's nice to reflect on things. Think about the things he can't control. Think about things he can control. Wonder if the birds in the trees in front of him are the same birds that keep him up in the middle of the night. He whistles to them and eventually they come closer. He can't control the birds. When he tries to stay in control with all the possibilities, he struggles to stay true. Truth feels so good, but can be so scary. He's not afraid to speak the truth. Truth is, he's on the roof thinking about one thing.

This Palm is defeated

Reminiscent of the movie "Tremors" starring Kevin Bacon & Reba McEntire.

butterflies and ants

Tonight I went up on my roof and just star gazed. Soaking up the silence around me, escaping the chaos. I asked the Universe for a sign. Just anything for anything. And across the sky, too high to be a plane, a light moved and streamed across the sky, disappearing moments later. Falling Star? Didn't seem like the usual falling star. Perhaps aliens? That would be neat. I like the idea of fate, and everything working together. There is an ant in this picture carrying a flower petal. It's so tiny, but seems to be such a huge task. Ants like beautiful things.

Find Your Own Way

Sometimes I'm slow. I do not know everything. And I'm the first to admit that I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. I make myself laugh for really stupid reasons, alone or in a room full of people. I don't care if anyone laughs along with me, because I'm selfish. This is my laughter, stay out! Nah, I love laughing with people and dogs. I'm very easily entertained. It's the young self in me. I think I have embraced that more the past few years, because I've have realized that life is too short to be so serious all the time. Let it go. Let it go to the Universe. Somethings you can't change or, have no control over it, so we need to just let it go. I may look at the bright side too often, but it's really how we should handle most situations that stress us. I'm still determining where the line is drawn. When it's in the head, it's easier for me to let it go. When it's in my heart and in my soul and in all of my feelings, that's when it's hard. Only we can decide what is worth our energy of stress. From the little things to the heavy things. Does the snail stress about moving really really really slow across the sidewalk where humans walk and dogs shit? Maybe...maybe not. But the snail knows how to deal with it.

spread em and go

November 2004 story by two friends. the finale in a 4 part series. (lowercase is one friend, uppercase is the other)

AFTER FOUR AGONIZING YEARS, SHE WAS A SUCCESSFUL JOURNALIST, LIVED IN A BEAUTIFUL TOWNHOUSE IN DOWNTOWN SEATTLE, HAD A WEEKEND HOUSE IN LINCOLN CITY, OREGON. BUT UNDERNEATH IT ALL, SHE WAS SCARED AND ALONE. SHE WANTED TO ROLL OVER AND HAVE SOMEONE THERE. SHE WANTED TO COOK DINNER FOR TWO. SHE WANTED "HIS" AND "HERS" TOWELS FOR THE BATHROOM. WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!? SO, IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO 'FIND HERSELF' SHE WENT ON ONE OF THOSE SINGLES CRUISES, YOU KNOW, THE KIND WITH 200 DESPERATE SINGLES ON A HUGE BOAT TOGETHER. WELL, SHE GETS MOTION SICKNESS NUMBER ONE, AND NUMBER TWO, IT WAS A LONG 14 DAYS OF HER HIDING IN HER ROOM AND POPPING DRAMAMINE LIKE CANDY. AS THEY ARRIVED TO THE COAST IN AUSTRALIA, SHE STOPPED INTO THE FIRST TOURIST SHOP SHE FOUND. SHE BOUGHT A POSTCARD OF A CUTE LITTLE PANDA EATING EUCALYPTUS LEAVES AND SENT IT TO HER GOOD FRIEND ERIC, LONG TIME FRIEND AND OWNER OF A SMALL COFFEE SHOP IN DOWNTOWN BOSTON. SHE LOVED WHEN HE CALLED HER "RED LOCK". his favorite cologne he wore was eucalyptus cologne by thymes, only because "she" loved it so much. 'eric', he read, who's eric? that didn't matter- but unfortunately the postcard was post marked from a cruise liner...still no way to track her down. it's only irony, right, nothing to ponder. until just then, a red-haired girl walked in and ordered a grande iced chai, her favorite drink. it was not her, but something clicked. this can't be happening, just then a slam poet yelled in a deep voice- "everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end" therefore, "everything happens for a reason"! then the poet fell backwards onto the rug that covered the hard wooden floor. the guy grabbed the postcard off the board and ran out the door. where am i going, he thought, but never stopped. he got a bag packed, got on a bus not knowing where he is going, just got on the first bus out of boston. what lies ahead is now a mystery that will soon be solved. p.s. fate knows. fate knows.

I was 21 when this was written. oy oy oy

just a blur

November 2004 story continued by two friends. this was a total blur for me. Part 3. (again, lowercase vs uppercase separate writers)

SHE WAS THINKING OF HIM NOT MOPING TILL NIGHT LIKE SHE USED TO. AFTER ALL, FOUR YEARS HAD PAST SINCE THEY SHARED TIME TOGETHER. AFTER MANY DESTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIPS, SHE CONTINUED TO THINK THAT THEIR PATHS WOULD CROSS. SHE CONTINUOUSLY LOOKED OVER HER SHOULDER, HOPING HE WOULD BE THERE. WHY? WHY! "GET THESE THOUGHTS OF HIM OUT OF MY HEAD!" SHE SCREAMED. SHE SAT ALONE, AND PONDERED TO HERSELF, "HOW COULD I LET MYSELF GET LIKE THIS?" SHE HAD TRAPPED HERSELF IN HIM. SHE FEARED LETTING HIM GO, BECAUSE THAT WAS ALL SHE KNEW; HIM. as he sat embracing his things, his treasures he did not think of her. he shared his treasures, his beautiful life was not being lived alone. they held each other every night. they woke up together every morning. they were in love with each other. until one morning- the first morning since they had been together that he woke up alone. his lover had to be at work early. this is the first time since he left "her" that he felt alone again. but it was only one morning. he went to the coffee shop, and carried on with his day, not thinking he was alone. and he saw it. a picture on the cork board-from across the country from her, him on the east coast, her on the west, he saw a postcard- not just a post card, but a post card with a panda bear. signed on thee card was "red lock". but how? how and why would that be here? on the same morning he felt alone? [to be cont.]

Literally, A Before and After

Story from iHop, 2004 continued. 2 friends, one story. Part 2. (lowercase is one and uppercase is the other)

IT WAS ARLENE, HIS MISTRESS OF 7 YEARS. HE KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT HER, HER FUNNY LIP SHAPE, THE WAY HER NOSE SLOPED, THE WAY HER CHEST BECAME RED WHEN SHE WAS NERVOUS. THE WAY SHE BIT HER LOWER LIP WHEN THEY MADE LOVE. HE KNEW WHAT MADE HER LAUGH AND HOW BLUE HER EYES WERE AFTER SHE CRIED. SHE CRIED FOR HIM. OF ALL THAT HE GAVE HER, HE COULDN'T OFFER HER WHAT SHE YEARNED FOR. then he ate her, but threw her up immediately. no, seriously, once she left to pursue a more comfortable route, he was left alone...after many days of moping and wondering what he did wrong. nothing he discovered, except he over-beared her with love that she couldn't handle. she was gone. forever? maybe...maybe not- fate kept them connected. but over the days, months, years, many adventures, many learning experiences occurred, they were both living life, not together, yet not alone. [to be cont.]

not quite music to the ears

A short story written by 2 friends at an iHop in Omaha, Nebraska. November 2004. Written back and forth. Lowercase and Uppercase shall differentiate one voice from the other. Part One (1).

from the dark woods appeared a person no one knew existed...how is that possible you wonder, well...HE HAD BEEN ALONE ALL HIS LIFE. HE HAD A FAMILY, ONCE, BUT HE ATE THEM SO THERE WOULD BE NO REMAINS OF THEM. HIS WIFE HAD LONG RED LOCKS, YES, THE CARPET MATCHED THE CURTAINS. YOU KNOW, A NATURAL. now unfortunately "he" had small hands and small feet, but the size of his nose compensated. he lives in the cold mountain woods. one day a dark storm moved through the valley. HE SAW A BEAR, A PANDA BEAR WAVING AT HIM, PUTTING HIS BACK INTO IT (IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN...) OK, ON A SERIOUS NOTE, HE LIVED ALONE IN THE WOODS CONTEMPLATING HIS ACTIONS FROM HIS PAST. DID HE DO THE RIGHT THING? DID HE SAY WHAT HE HAD TO SAY? REALLY, WORDS ARE NOT THE ONLY MANNER TO GET YOUR POINT ACROSS. IT'S OUT THERE, IN THE UNIVERSE, IN SMALL WAYS. HE FELT THE NEED TO BE TOTALLY ALONE, IN HIS SHELL. but it was christmas time, therefore a giant nutcracker from the ballet cracked his shell open! agh! he yelped but then remembered comforting words, like "geh" and "qef", and then he felt good. all of a sudden a waitress came and said "ya'll make a cute couple", thats when he said "meet my siamese twin, bitch!" then he woke up and it was all a dream. the phone rang. [to be cont.]

dancing with wine

I was almost nineteen years old when I discovered my love of dancing. The club was open from 1:30am-4am. I walked in, not knowing anyone. Music blasting. People drinking water and soda...some with coffee. Drunk patrons and high patrons, usually both. Small dance floor with mirrors all around. A back unfinished area where people can smoke or make out and whatnot. Lots of two by fours and wood beams. The room looked under construction. I may still look like it's under construction. This was Nebraska. I walked in completely sober. The first 10 times I went, I was sober. I didn't drink then. I just wanted to learn how to dance. So that's what I did. I watched and moved and danced. I don't care how I dance, as long as it feels good. Once I started drinking alcohol my dancing, let's say, became more interesting. A sweet night would end with dancing in my living room holding a bottle of red wine in hand. Alone. With a lover. With a group of friends. With family. With a cat. I think I'm liking cats again. I haven't felt this way for cats since high school.

An Ocean View

In a trio, there should always be a Snap, a Crackle and a Pop. Snap is the witty one. Always making statements that should have a 3-snap motion afterwards. Crackle is the unfiltered one. Always making statements then having to sip a drink to pretend like that wasn't said. Pop is the goofy one. Always making statements that no one really understands, but somewhere in that cereal bowl of a brain it makes sense. Hello, I'm Pop.

Local

When I was 20 years old I got a hold of a backstage pass to The Cher Farewell Tour while she was in Omaha, NE. How I got the pass is another story. I got to the concert and was unsuccessful in getting backstage. But instead, I got my friend and I to the 4th row from the stage. I had a shirt on that read: 'Made in the 80's', that I made myself. I swear Cher looked right at me, pointed and winked. In that moment I believed! Eight months later, she came to Omaha again. I still had my pass. I forged the date on it, and made it to the 6th row from the stage. I even wore my shirt again, convinced she would recognize me. Not a single glance. She probably thought "Why the hell is he wearing that same damn shirt?". If I could turn back time, I would have worn something new and fresh. damnit.

Stating the Obvious

I'm a fan of stupid puns and cheesy metaphors. When the people take things too serious, it's hard to know where the wrong is. Is it wrong to laugh? Is it wrong to cry? Is it wrong to ignore? Is it wrong to state the obvious? Everyone has a different feeling about what they think is wrong and what is right. I tend to make light of the matter. No biggie, go about it, enjoy your cheese sandwich. Dance in the dark, dance in the light. Sing to a stranger, make faces when no one is looking. Make faces when everyone is looking. Wear bright colored clothes and plain colored underwear...or vice versa. Today my lunch consisted of bread, lettuce, tomato and 'green goddess' dressing.